Weddings are almost as big a deal for moms as they are for the bride and groom — maybe an even bigger deal. It is important for the mother-of-the-groom and the mother-of-the-bride to be clear on what is expected of her to help avoid conflict during the wedding planning process.
First, brides and grooms need to have a conversation with their parents about money, and it is the mom’s job to be honest. You will have limits, and you need to be up front about them. Second, offer your opinion — but do not be offended if they do not take all of your ideas and suggestions. Odds are they will be happy you want to help out, but it is still their wedding — you do not want to be a momzilla! Third, talk to your child about the guest list. The more you contribute to a wedding the bigger the say you have in who is invited, but the bride and groom will most likely be willing to comply with any special requests you have as long as it fits in the budget. One good idea is to give them a sample guest list of people you would like to include, but put a star next to your “must-invites” so they know which guests are a priority. Speaking of priorities, it is a good idea to determine yours. If you nit-pick every detail of the wedding, all you will accomplish is getting on the bride and groom’s nerves. Instead, pick two or three aspects of wedding planning that you would really like to be a part of, and let the bride and groom know. As long as you are reasonable, the couple will most likely be more willing to comply with your requests. Check out the rest of our basics for moms for even more tips and advice.